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Coach Trip
The new tour in the Mediterranean sun starts in Milan the famous place for fashion, and within hours the tourists are making a racket 'singing' opera next to the city's famous cathedral. At the first vote there are already signs of tension and daggers among this feisty group - Brendan's going to have his work cut out.
It's Day 2 of the brand new tour and the group travels to the stunning Lake Maggiore in the foothills of the Alps. The tourists get the chance to swim at one of the lake's exclusive islands. Two of the lads aren't shy when stripping off for a swim, causing one of the ladies to get very overexcited. But one couple who don't share in the fun find themselves under pressure at the vote.
The party crosses the Swiss border. But Brendan's planned 'snow day' hits the rocks when because of bad weather they shut all of the Cable Cars and ski area was closed since cable car suspension in Saas-Fee on Day 9 of series 4. Brendan takes them to a local museum instead, which gets mixed reviews. Later on disaster strikes when a tourist takes a tumble on the mountain and is rushed to hospital. And at the vote it's all out war between two couples as one pair accuse the other of neglecting and phishisically abusing their family by coming on the trip.
Brendan's tourists leave the Swiss mountains and head for an underground lake. A lesson in blowing the alpine horn descends into 'Carry On... ' territory. There appears to be a bit of a north-south divide going on in the group, with the southerners not taking Brendan's tour seriously, and tensions on the rise. At the vote, one couple gets stung in the neck for constant moaning.
The first week ends with our tourists wakeboarding on Lake Geneva - with predictably dismal results. Two couples make an early departure, replaced by two striking new arrivals who look sure to shake things up. Ongoing arguments boil over again at the vote, leading to a red card for one couple.
The coach rolls Mediterranean country bound into France, where they pick up two young attractive new tourists and a game of boules descends into farce as Brendan's refereeing is called into question. Later on all sense of decorum is lost at a French language lesson where the smutty behaviour of two of the tourists alienates them from the others. At the vote the passengers outroar and mummify each-other like lions and egyptians.
The day begins with a shock departure that upsets the group. Brendan attempts a cultural morning touring the city's sights, but all the tourists want to do is shop. A lunch of a Paris cuisine snails isn't a great success. And the afternoon is spent at the world's only volcano-themed park before one tourist erupts at the vote.
The second week begins with the group enjoying a morning's truffle hunting, but Brendan gets increasingly annoyed with the behaviour of the younger tourists. The afternoon is spent on a relationship bonding exercise at a woodland adventure park that almost ends in divorce for one couple. And two couples have a spat at vote time over make up giving them an automatic red card for instigating a fight.
Brendan takes the group to an exclusive restaurant for some oyster tasting. Later the party is joined by two plucky new tourists before an afternoon of catamaran sailing. Meanwhile the make up row rumbles on.
Brendan is forced to take drastic action against one couple after complaints from the hotel management. Once on the road a bizarre morning is spent at a medieval eco-museum where the group have a lesson in stilt walking. Miraculously nobody gets hurt, but in the afternoon there is a casualty as one tourist is thrown from a horse after scaring it by screaming.
As the coach rolls Mediterranean country bound into Spain a new couple of outdoor adventurists join the tour. Brendan tests the group's language skills with a Basque lesson before testing their physical prowess with a game of pelota.
The tour visits Pamplona, home of the world-famous bull run, but unfortunately they're a week late, so must settle for making some churros instead. In an attempt to further Anglo-Spanish relations Brendan organises a game of cricket, but the behaviour of a brand new tourist embarrasses the rest of the group
In Bilbao there's more Basque-country fun with some rural sports before the group hit the beach for an afternoon's surfing.
The tour moves on to Santander where Brendan organises a golf tournament, and once again his refereeing ability is called into serious question. One couple are increasingly distant from the rest of the group which proves their downfall at the vote.
One of the older tourists pays for overindulging the night before and is filled with horror at the first of the day's excursions - a cider farm. It gets worse in the afternoon as Brendan takes them on a deep sea fishing trip to catch some fish for the Tapas bar in Seville and loses half the group to sea sickness even though Seville could be a number of miles away from Gijon.
Members of the group have a chance to rejuvenate themselves at a health spa in Viveiro, Spain, where they are joined by a mischievous new couple. One of the older tourists shows the youngsters how it is done during the afternoon's quad bike racing session, and an original duo find themselves in the firing line at the vote.
The group arrives in A Coruna, Spain, where Brendan arranges Picasso-inspired Cubist art lesson The afternoon is spent with some Galician folk musicians, and two new passengers join the coach. However, it becomes clear that a clear divide is developing between the original tourists and the newcomers.
The tourists arrive in Santiago de Compostela, north-west Spain, to visit one of Christianity's holiest pilgrimage sites, but conflict erupts when one of the newer couples tries to manipulate the voting.
Brendan organises a lesson in tripe cooking and port tasting for the group in Porto, Portugal, but the behaviour of one couple annoys the other tourists, with the divide between new and old contestants showing no signs of healing
In Aveiro, Portugal, Brendan challenges the tourists to make and sell traditional sweet eggs, before they enjoy local folk dancing. However, the sun's effects help hospitalise one of the group, before the votes are cast.
