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After thirty years, Maria finally tells Sal the truth - she was a virgin when she found out she was pregnant with him. Sal is the Second Coming. In an effort to placate his mother's insane claim, Sal sets out to do one good deed.
When he tries to help a neighborhood kid deal with his bully, Sal realizes that being a good person is anything but easy. Meanwhile, a spark is rekindled between Maria and her old flame, Joe, who is long since married - to Maria's sister.
When Sal finds out that his crush Nicole is being evicted because she works at a Rub n' Tug, he vows to help her. Meanwhile, Maria tries to make peace with her sister, Leena, over the fact that she married the love of Maria's life.
Father Luke sends Sal to an out of town public speaking course - Jesus was a great orator, and Sal will be too. Meanwhile with the house to herself for the first time ever, Maria masturbates - also for the first time ever.
Sal gets a surprise visit from a woman claiming he's the father of her baby. Meanwhile, Maria kisses her sister's husband, Joe.
When Vince tells Sal he has to bring his miserable Uncle Harold to his surprise party, Sal tags along in the hopes of keeping his good deed streak alive. Meanwhile, Maria is confronted by her sister over her recent interactions with Joe.
Vince is hit by a car, Maria finds out she has a lump on her breast, and Sal comes face-to-face with a crazy man who also thinks he's the Saviour.
Done with being the Second Coming, and still reeling from Maria's lump, Sal just wants a normal life, that is until he runs into the Homeless Guy. It's a chance encounter that changes the direction of Sal's life.
